Bread Facts You Must Know Now

1. More than 99 percent of terrorists are bread eaters.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from “dough.” It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average North American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a “gateway” food item, leading the user to “harder” items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. In a recent top secret government report, it has been shown that Hitler, Stalin, Ted Bundy, and ALL 19 highjackers of the 911 Trajedy were frequent bread eaters.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread and die.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 350 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. 87% of bread consumers cannot distinguish scientific fact from statistical doubletalk.

We MUST TAKE ACTION NOW. The Bread Board may seem innocent but these lies and statistics have been buried in secret reports long enough.

The following proposals must be enacted by Congress now, before it’s too late.

1. Bread sales to minors must be banned.
2. We must start a campaign to educate the public of the dangers of bread and bread products. A proposed title is “Just Say No To Toast.”
3. A 300% federal “sin” tax must be added to all bread products to pay for education and cessation programs.
4. No animal or human images and no bright, primary colors which may appeal to children and the elderly may be used to promote any bread product or encourage bread usage.
5. We must establish “Bread Free” Zones around all schools and places frequented by children.
6. Parents or guardians found feeding their children bread will be arrested and the child will be sent to an established 3 year recovery camp in Idaho.

Stats and proposals found here, thank you.

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