A Sacri-licious Experiment With The Body Of Christ

By Neece, on December 6, 2008, at 4:51 am

Stumbling around the intertoobs, my husband found a page titled, Body of Christ? Not So Nice! I cracked up laughing and thought I’d better share it with you. I haven’t gone to church in about 27 years, so I don’t remember what Jesus tasted like. The christian churches I went to served Jesus wafers with red grape juice (pansies), so I never even got to wash down the lord with the real stuff – red wine.

Maybe that’s why I lost the faith! I didn’t get the right jesus juice! I was cheated, and now I’m just a lost heathen. AMEN!

Anyway, this guy Kevin decided to try different toppings on the eucharist crackers. This was back in 2005, so I guess he beat PZ Myers to the sacriligeous punch, so to speak. Here’s the intro to Body of Christ? Not So Nice!

By themselves, communion wafers are pretty vile. That would explain why they have to “sell” them with a free sip of wine.

So the purpose of this experiment is to find out just what it takes to turn the communion experience from “ow!” to “wow!” We^* went to the supermarket and we selected a range of toppings and condiments to serve eucharists with.

I can hear some of you now. “Blasphemous!” “Scandalous!” But hold on there, bucko! What if we discover some new way to serve communion wafers that brings people stampeding back to the church as if it were some chic new restaurant on the lower east side? Uh huh, you didn’t think of that, did you? We thought not.

Our rating scale works as follows:
1-Awful 2-Mediocre 3-Okay 4-Not Bad 5-YUMMY!

He then goes on to try several different toppings; french onion dip, whipped cream, easy cheez whiz, oreo stuffing, etc.

He actually found the perfect accompaniment to the jeezits. Which is good to know if you ever get holed up in a church during something like a zombie apocalypse and you get a bit hungry.

If you know of anything that would go great with Jeezits, feel free to comment. Recipes are always welcome.