Heaving Dead Cats » fun http://www.heavingdeadcats.com Skeptical Freethought Atheist Musings to Dispel Ignorance and Enlighten the Mind Mon, 30 Aug 2010 02:55:43 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Lighten Up! http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/13/lighten-up/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/13/lighten-up/#comments Fri, 13 Aug 2010 13:34:56 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=3019 How about some funny or insightful cartoons and pictures for a light Friday the 13th treat?

God At His Computer

BRRRAAAAIIINNNSSS!!!

Grimace must be an atheist baby-eater!

Behold! The atheist’s nightmare!

I shall huggeth thee and squeezeth thee, and call thee George

So what are you in for?
Genocide. What about you?
Poly-cotton.

When did ignorance become a point of view?

Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth. Albert Einstein

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]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/13/lighten-up/feed/ 0 Good Stuff From Mr. Deity Again http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/03/good-stuff-from-mr-deity-again/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/03/good-stuff-from-mr-deity-again/#comments Tue, 03 Aug 2010 08:32:51 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=3005 Mr. Deity and the Psych Exam is pretty funny. Watch at least the first part of the begging section, it’s pretty funny too.

The Newsletter is funny too. I recommend it.

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]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/03/good-stuff-from-mr-deity-again/feed/ 0 Yay for Mr. Deity and Larry http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/20/yay-for-mr-deity-and-larry/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/20/yay-for-mr-deity-and-larry/#comments Tue, 20 Jul 2010 21:51:11 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2965 Mr. Deity and Larry

Very funny stuff! If you’re new to Mr. Deity, I recommend starting at the beginning at Season 1. Go to MrDeity.com and watch them all.

Also, there’s a Newsletter you can get now.

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]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/20/yay-for-mr-deity-and-larry/feed/ 0 Mr. Deity is Back! http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/12/mr-deity-is-back/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/12/mr-deity-is-back/#comments Tue, 13 Jul 2010 03:07:53 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2945 Mr. Deity and the Void

Yay! Mr. Deity is finally back!

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]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/12/mr-deity-is-back/feed/ 2 How The New Testament Came About http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/01/how-the-new-testament-came-about/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/01/how-the-new-testament-came-about/#comments Thu, 01 Jul 2010 04:59:06 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2903 God: Hey Jews.
Jews: Hey.
God: So listen guys, I’m thinking we go in a different direction with this whole religion.
Jews: What?
God: You know, do a non-gritty reboot. Same God taste, new God packaging. That sort of thing.
Jews: We don’t follow.
God: Okay, work with me here guys. Remember the whole ‘angry God’ thing?
Jews: Vividly.
God: Where I killed a whole bunch of you and-
Jews: Yeah.
God: And forty years in the-
Jews: We remember that.
God: Not to mention Robo-Hitler. Yikes.
Jews: Wait, what?
God: Whoops, forget I said that. “Spoiler Alert”, am I right?
Jews: …
God: Anyway, we’re going to re-work this whole “God- thing. For example, kid-friendly is big these days in religion.
Jews: So, like…?God: For example, I’m super chill now, for some reason. Plus there’s a heaven. Oh, and this is Jesus. He’s my son, and he’s God too, or something. It’s complicated, ok?
Jesus: Yo.
Jews: I think we’ll stick with the old one here.
God: Look, I love the brand loyalty Jews, I really do. But this whole “God- thing isn’t playing to the right demographics. Jesus is a hip, young God, you know, for the whole  A.D.- generations.
Jesus: Surfs up, dudes!
God: Ha, that Jesus. What a character, right? This is going to play huge in Rome…
Jews: This…goes against everything you’ve ever told us.
God: No it doesn’t, so just shut up. Also, Jesus, you’re going to die.
Jesus: What? I thought I was your son! Or God. Or both!
God: Look, this is just complicated, okay Jesus? Besides, you totally return when you fight the Devil.
Jews: Who?
God: Right, he’s another new character. He’s like an evil God. Plot twist, right? We’re arch enemies.
Jesus: Why would you make your own arch-enemy? That’s really stupid.
God: Shut up, Jesus. And what would you know? You’re made of bread and wine.
Jesus: What? Why?
God: Sponsorships, alright? New testaments aren’t cheap.
Jews: I’m sorry, this is just way too different. Is this your fan-fiction or something?
God: Of course not. This is the logical progression of Judaism which I planned all along. Like when I made all those references to a lamb.
Jews: You made, like, five.
God: Well, they were all about Jesus. Foreshadowing. Um, I guess. So there.
Jews: Couldn’t you have been clearer then?
God: I work in mysterious ways, okay? Look, just go with it guys. I worked really hard on this. And come on, you totally owe me for the whole ‘creation’ thing anyway.
(pause)
Most Jews: Well, I guess we could.
God: Awesome! ‘Most Jews’, aka ‘New Christians’-
New Christians: We’re what now?
God: You won’t regret this guys, I have the whole thing planned perfectly
Holy Ghost: Oooooooooh!
God: …
New Christians: …
God: You’re going to love it.

~ Found Here.

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]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/01/how-the-new-testament-came-about/feed/ 0 Funny Tidbits To Make You Smile http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/06/03/funny-tidbits-to-make-you-smile/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/06/03/funny-tidbits-to-make-you-smile/#comments Thu, 03 Jun 2010 17:58:23 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2827 Just a few funny tidbits to entertain you. Plus the Pale Blue Dot for a bit of awesomeness. :)

“There have been numerous cases where practicing christians have been obliged to obey the same laws and abide by the same rules as everybody else.” (How Barbaric!) Jesus and Mo

God! It’s like everyone I’ve ever slept with is here.

Hitler was a drug-free vegetarian. Do your part to fight fascism: eat meat and do drugs. (name that logical fallacy!)

Having a great vocabulary didn’t save the Thesaurus from extinction/eradication/extirpation. :P

Man and religion, a synopsis: They said christianity was a religion of peace…

Carl Sagan and the Pale Blue Dot. Awesome!

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]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/06/03/funny-tidbits-to-make-you-smile/feed/ 5 The Adventures of God http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/04/29/the-adventures-of-god/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/04/29/the-adventures-of-god/#comments Thu, 29 Apr 2010 11:36:16 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2743 I
God: Noah, all the people of earth are sinners. You alone are righteous.
Noah: Thanks God. Long time fan, first time prophet.
God: So, I have decided to smite the entire world with a flood.
(pause)
Noah: Couldn’t you just teach man goodness?
God: No. I’m thinking “flood”.
Noah: So you’d rather just kill every-
God: What part of “flood” do you not understand?

II
God: Moses…I have seen the plight of the Jews in Egypt.
Moses: Wow. Only after, uh, 400 years there, right?
God: Yes.
Moses: Awesome.
God: I will take you out of Egypt after ten terrible, terrible plagues.
Moses: …ten?
God: Is there a problem?
Moses: It’s just…ten is a lot. For, you know, God. Couldn’t you get this done in like, two plagues max?
God: No. For you see Moses, I will harden Pharaoh’s heart against me.
Moses: So…you are going to stop him from letting us free from slavery.
God: Yes.
Moses: So you can bring more terrible, terrible plagues upon the people.
God: Yes.
Moses: And you see nothing wrong with this picture?
God: …
Moses: Are there any other gods up there I can talk to?

III

Mary: Did you send the child support?
God: Frankincense and myrrh. Yeah.
Mary Annnnnd?
God: (sighs). And gold. And the gold.
Mary: That’s better.

IV
Job: …
God: Well, this is awkward.

V
God: Abraham, you must circumcise yourself.
Abraham: As you wish, my lord.
God: Oh my Me. He’s totally going to do it.

~

Found Here :P

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