Heaving Dead Cats » hello

How People Tend To Think And Respond

Neece — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 07:14:31 +0000

In our book club right now, we are reading Nonsense: Red Herrings, Straw Men and Sacred Cows: How We Abuse Logic in Our Everyday Language by Robert J. Gula. It’s very interesting as it goes through emotional language and logical fallacies in several ways that make them easier to understand. Robert Gula wrote the book in the 1970’s which is interesting in its nostalgic examples.

But what I wanted to share with you was something from chapter 1 that I thought was quite valuable:

First, some general principles. Let’s not call them laws; and since they’re not particularly original, I won’t attach my name to them. They are merely a description of patterns that seem to characterize the ways that people tend to respond and think. For example, people:

tend to believe what they want to believe.

tend to project their own biases or experiences upon situations.

tend to generalize from a specific event.

tend to get personally involved in the analysis of an issue and tend to let their feelings overcome a sense of objectivity.

are not good listeners. They hear selectively. They often hear only what they want to hear.

are eager to rationalize.

are often unable to distinguish what is relevant from what is irrelevant.

are easily diverted from the specific issue at hand.

are usually unwilling to explore thoroughly the ramifications of a topic; tend to oversimplify.

often judge from appearances. They observe something, misinterpret what they observe, and make terrible errors in judgment.

often simply don’t know what they are talking about, especially in matters of general discussion. They rarely think carefully before they speak, but they allow their feelings, prejudices, biases, likes, dislikes, hopes and frustrations to supersede careful thinking.

rarely act according to a set of consistent standards. Rarely do they examine the evidence and then form a conclusion. Rather they tend to do whatever they want to do and to believe whatever they want to believe and then find whatever evidence will support their actions or their beliefs. They often think selectively: in evaluating a situation they are eager to find reasons to support what they want to support and they are just as eager to ignore or disregard reasons that don’t support what they want.

often do not say what they mean, and often do not mean what they say.

To these principles, let’s add four observations cited by J.A.C. Brown in his Techniques of Persuasion: “Most people want to feel that issues are simple rather than complex, want to have their prejudices confirmed, want to feel that they “belong” with the implication that others do not, and need to pinpoint an enemy to blame for their frustrations.”

The above comments may seem jaundiced. They are not meant to be. They are not even meant to be critical or judgmental. They merely suggest that it is a natural human tendency to be subjective rather than objective and that the untrained mind will usually take the path of least resistance. The path of least resistance is rarely through reason.

Page 4-5 of Nonsense: Red Herrings, Straw Men and Sacred Cows: How We Abuse Logic in Our Everyday Language by Robert J. Gula.

When I first read the list and kept agreeing with it, I thought it was cynical and jaded. I thought I was the same. But I agree with Mr. Gula. It isn’t meant in a nasty way at all. It seems it’s just the way our minds work. If we understand that, it gives us an advantage for working with our own thoughts and brains, as well as insight into how others form beliefs, rationales, ethics and much more.

I have quite a few friends who are humanists. My good friend Jenny believes that people try to be the best they can be. My experience of humanity has not been so rosy. I think I agree with Mr. Gula. Most people take the path of least resistance, and that path rarely has anything to do with reason. Or aspiring to the greater good of humanity.

Feel free to comment below with how jaded and cynical I am. But I also wouldn’t mind hearing from you if you agree.

Groovecat Joins The A-Team

Neece — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 00:15:10 +0000

You may have noticed that we have a new author here at HDC. His name is Groovecat and he recently wrote Religion and Sexual Predators for us. I asked him to tell us a little about himself and here is what he had to say:

Born and raised Roman Catholic. Had issues with it early on. Asked one too many times “but who made god?” in catechism and spent a lot of time with my nose pushed against a spot on the black-board that the good sisters used as punishment for asking too many questions. Favorite childhood story is “the Emperor has no clothes”.

Jack of all trades by vocation, musician by avocation. Chaser of women, catcher of few. Hedonistically free. Could lose a few pounds, but hey, who couldn’t, huh? Enjoys his martinis, John Steinbeck novels and the salmon-goat cheese pizza at Tapestry in Los Gatos ( available only in the summer from the out-door wood-fired pizza oven, by request). Favorite movie? Aliens with Sigourney Weaver. A classic story of man vs. nature, along with a kick to the status quo of the time by making the hero a woman.

Hired gun and musical mercenary. Spends his free time sleeping, eating, breathing and watching t.v.

Deconversion story to follow.

The A(theist)-Team is growing! There’s me, you’re Incorrigible Ring Leader with a Heart of Gold, Johnny the Erudite Superhero, and now the Intrepid Groovecat.

Kingsville: King of Ignorance

Johnny — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 13:00:33 +0000

Kingsville Texas is the county seat of Kleberg County; in January of 1997 county commissioners unanimously designated “heaven-o” as the county’s official greeting.

Okay, I know that’s not really breaking news; but I’ve been on a bit of a separation of church and state kick, so when I stumbled on this I thought I’d share.

So what is wrong with using “hello?” Well it turns out that Leonso Canales Jr. thinks “hello” is a negative greeting due to its association with “hell.” What?!

According to Canales “The ‘O’ is not enough to hide the most negative word (hell) printed in every dictionary” and speaking the word is even worse. So in 1988 Canales (with assisted insight from his brother) coined the greeting “heaven-o.”

There is no etymological link at all between the words “hell” and “hello”, the latter deriving from older forms such as “hallow” and “hullo”. Ironically, this common greeting probably has its oldest origins in the Germanic word “hailæn” (or Old English “hælan), which means to heal, to cure or to save, either in the physical or religious sense.

What’s worse is that this shining example of ignorance somehow managed to convince the Kleberg County commissioners of the link between “hello” and “hell.” And subsequently persuaded them “heaven-o” was better. Then with a direct violation of the first amendment the county designated “heaven-o” as their official greeting; instructing chamber of commerce and courthouse employees to answer the phone “Heaven-o.”

As far as I can find, this policy still stands.

Heeere’s Johnny!

Neece — Thu, 28 May 2009 02:30:09 +0000

Oh, don’t hate me for that. Most of you are probably too young to even catch the reference. I had to do it, I was contractually obligated.

So you may have noticed the post titled How Many gods Are In the Bible?. Well, may I introduce to you, Johnny! He’s commented on HDC before, and befriended me on Facebook, and I realized I really like how he thinks and his fresh perspective. As you may know, I am always looking for people to contribute to HDC, so that you get the best Dead Cats possible. When I asked Johnny if he’d be interested in joining in, he said yes! Woot!

So give him a warm welcome. Hopefully we’ll have his deconversion story in the Testimonial section soon, but you can read a bit about him on the About page. As you can see, he’s now our official resident Superhero. Woot Woot!

Thanks for joining us Johnny.

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver – My Favorite Poem

Neece — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 03:36:17 +0000

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting—
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

from Dream Work by Mary Oliver
published by Atlantic Monthly Press
© Mary Oliver

Why am I sharing this?

This is my favorite poem. When I first heard it over a decade ago, it struck me as a palliative to what ailed me. I was floundering within the christian world, not actively, but still completely under it’s crushing jackboot of guilt and sacrifice. I had no idea why I was so unhappy and confused. But this poem was beacon. Here was someone telling me I did not have to martyr myself, repenting over forced morals of an ancient and barbaric god. I didn’t clearly understand this at the time, but I still felt a palpable relief.

It still took me many years to fully shrug off the burden of religion. A long and difficult journey, sometimes quite painful and frightening. But entirely worth it.

I was thinking of this poem today and just wanted to share it with you. Do you have any words or images that you’ve found comforting or helpful in your life? I’d love to know what they are. If your story is too long for a comment, email it to me at heavingdeadcats@gmail.com. If you want to be anonymous, also email and let me know. But I’d like to share your story with everyone. I think it’s helpful for us to share and learn from each other.

Happy New Year, Heathens!

Neece — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 05:09:41 +0000

Here’s to an interesting year coming to a close, and the beginning of a fresh new year full of change and promise.

I hope you’re all having fun with your celebrations and being safe getting to and from any parties.

This change is really just an arbitrary moment in time. A time to take stock, and a time to celebrate.

Next year will be awesome. I know, that’s my optimism speaking, but we’ll make it the best year it can be.

Thank you for helping me be my best this year. Luvz U guyz!

Aww, damnit, I was aiming for posting at exactly midnight. But my awesome husband just called to wish me a Happy New Year. Damn, I love that guy. Ok, thank you again for being such great readers and commenters. Suggestions always welcome, as are guest posters.

Since I’m already late, how about one more lolcat? Let’s see if I can find a really good one. (actually the optimist pessimist is one of my favs at the moment )

HAPPY NEW YEAR! It’s 2009!

Happy Winter Solstice! Let’s Celebrate With Lolcats!

Neece — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 10:42:20 +0000

It’s that time of year, my friends. The Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year for us in the Northern Hemisphere, has arrived.

Of course, that other usurper holiday is just around the corner now. I speak of the dreaded consumer nightmare, christmas. My husband and I are boycotting xmas this year, and hopefully for many more to come.

That’s not to say I will snub the eggnog if it comes around, or miss a meal on xmas eve with the family.

But no obligatory gift or card exchange, no tree, no decorations, nothing. It’s been great so far, not being forced into false frivolity and frenzied shopping with everyone else. It’s just another season.

But I do like the changing of the seasons, so the Winter Solstice is as good a time as any to say hello and have a happy winter. It’s been cold here lately, with weird warm days in between that really throw everything off. We’ve already had more snow so far this year than all of last year.

Anyhoo, I just wanted to share some happy lolcats with you today. Every day is a good day to smile. Whatever holiday you celebrate this season, be good to one another and have fun. If you are like me and don’t celebrate any of them, have a happy winter and be safe and have fun too!

And now for my favorites!

Heaving Dead Cats » hello

How People Tend To Think And Respond

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