Woo can be defined as anything supernatural, irrational or lacking in evidence. So it would include religion and any kind of pseudoscience.

On a side note, is there anything that could be defined as woo that you still believe in? If so, why?

For me, I’ve somehow whittled down my friend list from all woo-lovers to all skeptical atheists. I didn’t do this deliberately, but I guess with my skeptical talk and constant questioning (not aggressively, but I really did question all the woo I previously embraced), my woo-loving friends all went their separate ways and avoided me within months of when my quest for knowledge began.

I didn’t have many friends for awhile but then found the Morgantown Atheists where I found several people that have become good friends. Also, having HDC has let me meet new people who were rather like-minded as well.

With extended family, I still have to deal with woo, both religious and supernatural. They know Butch (my awesome husband) and I are die-hard atheists so we have come to an unspoken agreement that we don’t talk about religion. Or politics just to be safe and have nice dinners together.

I think I’m lucky in most respects. My skeptical atheist friends keep things lively by being smart and reason-based (most of the time, we’re not perfect, of course). And my extended family gives me an occasional glimpse into woo-land so I get to see what the majority of people are dealing with and believing. It’s enough.

I don’t avoid anyone based on their woo. But I tend to gently state my skepticism when I can so that I am not being dishonest about myself. Then people who are wrapped in woo tend to avoid me, not the other way around. I can’t emphasize enough that I am very nice about it, not aggressive or “militant” at all. I’m probably way too nice about it. The other evening, I let my sister-in-law go on about her visit to a psychic and only said two things about how cold readings work. When the other sister-in-law said the psychic (a 95 year old woman) insisted she give her her hand (she didn’t want a reading) and told her to never drive, to dump her boyfriend (who she just moved in with and is very happy with) and other negative things, I said a few things then. Mainly that it’s all made up and it’s nonsense and don’t let that upset her. But even though she said it was no big deal, she talked about it all night. I got the impression it really bothered her.

As you may know, I’m happily married to Butch (we’ve been together for 15 years). So I’m not looking to date anyone, of course. But if I did have to date, I think I would be pretty strict about how much woo my partner could be into and still be in a relationship with me. I think it would be such a clash of belief and skepticism that it would cause problems. I think I’d have issues with it.

Let us know what you think in the comments!

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If there is no god, no heaven, no life after death,  or no reincarnation what do you replace that with?

In other words there is a comfort that many people find in religion, that they will live after death in some fashion. But when you come to understand that there is no god, then soon after you have to give up this comfortable idea in life after death, that our consciousness survives death and lives on in some other way.

For me, I became an atheist but still believed in reincarnation and the idea that there was some part of us, our soul, that somehow lived on. I was a spiritual atheist. Over time I realized that there is no evidence for a soul or any kind of supernatural and eventually gave it all up. For me, giving up the comfort of the supernatural was much harder than giving up the fear of god. But I had to be honest with myself and rely on science instead of my own fanciful wishes. For me, I didn’t really replace the idea of the supernatural and the soul with anything. I just gave it up. If there was an exchange it was reason and science that replaced wishful thinking.

Butch, my husband, was raised catholic. He read Revelations in the bible, about how 144,000 Jews’ names are written in the book of life, so that was the limit for heaven. He assumed he’d go to hell. So when he gave up religion and god it was a relief more than anything else.

I know a few atheists that still believe in ghosts and the supernatural. I see the appeal, as I went through that stage myself, but I wonder why we feel the need to cling to such beliefs.

The woman at the meeting asked what do you replace the comfort of life after death with. So I am asking you, my nonbelieving friends. What process did you go through? How did you transition? What did you replace the soul with, if anything? Was it easy for you, or did you struggle?

If you want to reply and it’s lengthy, you can email me or leave a comment, whichever you prefer. I’d love to hear your story.

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Thank you for answering my email. I am only 21 and it seams that I am searching for myself and what it is that I can believe. I see how people lie on a daily basis to make the even more entertaining than the event really was so I find it hard to believe anything that is told to me. Giving this way of living I find it tremendously hard to base my life and way of living around things that have been written in a book (the bible) that has been translated umpteen different times before coming to english. The thought that people let their lives revolve around something that was written 2000 years ago just amazes me. As humans are we so daft to do such a thing? The more I look into religion the more I am amazed at the living situations of some people in this world.

My dad did not express any beliefs of god when I was young because he is like me a firm non-believer until there is hard core facts to show him. He wanted me to believe what I wanted and didn’t want his opinions to influence me so he felt it best not to tell me anything. My mother… well she didn’t teach me anything about god or religion until I was 12 we went to church for the first time. She stuck me in Sunday school before a service. Now my father’s mother was catholic. She went twice on Sunday and Wednesday night. I stayed the night with her several times and went to church with her I believe when I was 7. That was enough religion for me. I still remember sitting in the pew looking around saying to myself “are these people really this crazy?!?”

I went to public schools in Indiana. I went to ten different schools before 9th grade so needless to say I was not well adjusted. I never really had any foundation so to say.

I have two children and I want to be able to educate them on religion and allow them to choose their own way. I don’t see the point in trying to force them to do things my way because they need to find out who they are maybe then they won’t have the same struggles that I do.

To answer your question no I was never taught the prevailing theories of how the earth was formed through natural cosmic events. As I said we moved a lot and the curriculum was different at each school there were several things I missed out on. That is why I am so ignorant on religion because I was never taught the scientific end of the world.

I don’t feel that I “NEED” a religion. I would just like to know a little more about why I am here on this earth. I feel there is a purpose for everything because it just doesn’t seam like we exist just to exist. There is some sort of purpose behind our being. So now my job is to find the why.

Thank you so much for this information!! You are right I will have many more questions for you. I want to look over the information you have given me and I want to do some additional research. (Internet based because I now live in the middle of BFE so no museums in my area and the library has a limited amount of books. Besides the fact, I am in the middle of the Bible belt so there will be virtually no literature supporting the thought that there could be an existence not provided by god.)

And here is my new reply:

Thanks for answering my questions. Yes, please research for yourself. The internet opens the whole wide world of information up to you, even in the middle of BFE. I live in a small town that is quite heavily populated with churches and one sad library. There is one small set of shelves for the science section in there. It’s pathetic. I do almost all of my research online, too.

I was thinking about you today and found something that you might enjoy: a set of 5 videos for young and old alike by professor Richard Dawkins. He is an evolutionary biologist. It’s 5 lectures he is giving to children in England but I just watched the first two and really enjoyed them and learned little bits and pieces of information I didn’t know before. He talks and then demonstrates what he says in ways that are easy to understand. But trust me, he doesn’t talk down to anyone. He is quite interesting and has a great passion for life and how we got here and what our place in the world is.

Here is a link to his website with all 5 videos. They are an hour each, I think.

Finding meaning and purpose in your life is not the same as looking for something to believe in. Perhaps you’re using the term differently than I am. Perhaps what you mean is that the two things are the same. Let’s look at the definitions to clarify.

belief: 1. something believed; an opinion or conviction; 2. confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof; 3. confidence; faith; trust; 4. a religious tenet or tenets

purpose: 1. the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.; 2. an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.

meaning: 2. the end, purpose, or significance of something

So a belief is a conviction that doesn’t have proof to back it up, which means it’s similar to faith.

faith: 2. belief that is not based on proof

You said you want to know why you are here on earth and that you feel there is a purpose for everything. Why do you feel this way? Is it because it gives you comfort? Just because you want to believe there is a deeper meaning to the universe doesn’t make it so. There is no evidence that there is any validity to that kind of thinking.

Let me put it this way. You say you feel there is a reason you are here on this earth. This leads to fallacious thinking where every little thing that goes right in your life affirms this false belief. Of course this is cherry-picking because you ignore all the things that happen in your life that are completely meaningless or downright negative. This leads you to think you (and the human race) are special, that we have some magical purpose because you have ignored the whole of reality to focus only on what you feel and what confirms what you want to believe to begin with.

The human mind is amazing and awesome, but it does take shortcuts and can easily be misled and make wrong conclusions. It’s very easy to cherry-pick and remember only what feels right or what seems special. This is dangerous and will lead you down a path of lies and myths in trying to believe in and confirm something that has no basis in reality.

It’s normal to ponder why were are here and what it all means. We have consciousness and an amazingly complex brain that can handle complicated concepts like the number 0 and the number 1 for example.

I also think this is one of the toughest issues an atheist deals with. If there is no god then what is the reason for existing? What is our purpose in life?

Well, it’s pretty simple. There is no purpose for everyone. You make your own purpose. You have to find your own meaning. I think some universal ideas would be to always keep learning, and do your best and be a good person. What is the meaning of life? There isn’t any one meaning. It’s what you find important. Try to find your own happiness and do as little damage to others as possible along the way.

Since you have children, nothing is more important in this part of your life than raising them to the best of your ability. Raising them free of dogma, with honesty, with a the ability to ask questions and think for themselves is the best thing you can do for them.

I know that thinking there is some cosmic force for good out there is really appealing, but there’s no evidence for such a thing. While it’s nice to chalk up good things to such a force, there are an awful lot of bad things – no natural justice, natural disasters, birth defects, etc – that make that seem pretty silly.

Basically you are here on this earth because life moves inexorably on. Within life, the need to procreate is part of evolution and natural selection. Again I recommend the videos by Dawkins that I linked to above. They will really give you an idea of evolution which will help you to see that we evolved naturally, and will continue to evolve unless we destroy ourselves and the planet by being careless, short-sighted and selfish.

Instead of searching for why you are here, make the most of your one precious life. Raise your children to the very best of your ability, be good to yourself and others, learn as much as you can. Make your own meaning and purpose with what you have.

Sometimes thinking for yourself, being free of religious dogma, reminds us of our grown-up responsibilities that religion masks. Thinking about such topics are part of being truly grown-up in this life. It might not be fun when you first encounter the new ideas, but reality is always preferable to fairy tales and lies. Give it a few days. Learn as much as you can about evolution and you’ll see. Truth and reality are magnificent and beautiful.

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The parents don’t want their kids to feel like freaks and also want to help them counter the exasperated ‘you don’t believe in god!’ remarks. Sam, the father, admits that it can be lonely to not believe in god sometimes. I understand. I feel that way too, although not as much as before I belonged to Morgantown Atheists.

Diane, the mother, says they are open to ideas and suggestions. She says they have friends who aren’t religious but still believe in god. It’s not the same thing.

Seeing as how only about 10% of the population would go so far as to actually use the dreaded A-word, it can be isolating to be godless in a sea of believers. As I’ve mentioned, I still keep my atheism to myself when around Butch’s family. Some of them know we’re atheists but it’s never been brought up or mentioned. This means that a huge part of what I spend my time thinking about and being an activist over can’t be talked about when I spend time with others. It’s kind of lonely, in a way.

For Sam and Diane, I suggested they join a local atheist/humanist/freethinker group to get some community support. There’s nothing like simply hanging out with like-minded people to feel more connected. In my personal experience, the benefits of belonging to a local organization are numerous. I have felt much happier since joining. Just knowing there are others who think like me is a great relief, in a way.

I know, many atheists are loners and not into joining. I used to think I was like that too. Then I realized I am just picky. I don’t want to belong to a group that has wildly different values than me. But having a coffee and talking to someone who is also a godless heathen is, well, liberating and intellectually stimulating.

I have to say something now regarding children and atheism. One of my friends, I think it was Dan, recently commented ( I can’t remember if it was here on HDC or Facebook. And I think it was Dan… or Steve. I’m sorry, my friends, I am not positive. Please feel free to correct me) about a conversation he had with his 9 year old daughter. She asked her dad about god. Dan gave a good answer about what god is, and said something along the lines of that’s how a lot of people believe. His daughter asked him what he believed, if he believed in god. Dan explained he is an atheist and that no, he doesn’t. Then he asked her what she thought about god. She said the smartest, most amazing thing, which told me he’s a wonderful dad. She said, “I think I’m too young to decide.”

What that tells me is that Dan is raising his daughter, not to be an atheist, but to think for herself. I think the most important thing you can ever do for a child is to teach them critical thinking. Let them figure things out for themselves. Let them reason and make mistakes. Teach them how to think. Not what to believe.

I’m still thinking about what to tell Sam and Diane’s kids, in how to deal with other kids who are brainwashed with religion already. Do you have any suggestions, websites, or books that might help them?

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First, I am now a Google Waver! Find me at zeneece@googlewave.com. I started my first public wave for atheists: Atheists Unite!

Secondly, I must confess my ignorance on a certain matter that has been bouncing around my brain for some time. I have asked my genius husband Butch and he didn’t have an answer, which made me feel better.

I’ll start with an example:

I always thought aspirin was found in the bark of white willows, and then was made in the lab. But the history seems to be entirely in the laboratory, according to Wikipedia. Also there does seem to be a connection between white willow bark and eventually aspirin.

Needless to say these days, aspirin is made strictly in the lab/factory. My question is, if things are made strictly from chemicals, where do the chemicals themselves come from? And a followup question would be, wouldn’t that make everything natural, at some point? Doesn’t everything eventually lead back to nature?

Another example:

Black Gold, petroleum, crude oil. It’s considered this unnatural thing. But didn’t it come from rotting vegetation and other natural organic matter?

When does something natural become something synthetic?

Why are natural things considered superior to synthetic things nowadays? Is there some proof that it’s true? Or is it marketing/propaganda?

I’m not trying to start anything, or as the Brits would say, I’m not trying to have a go at synthetics. I really just want to understand. If the red food dye and flavoring in my drink stick mix is synthetic, where did the chemicals that make it up come from?

I would love your feedback and thoughts on this. But please, I took chemistry in high school which was over 20 years ago (egads, that made me feel old), so keep it simple.

Thanks friends!

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I thought I’d share this with you. The BBC has a page for each religion where they give a bit of information at a glance, and one for atheism too.

Atheism is the absence of belief in any gods or spiritual beings. The word Atheism comes from a, meaning without, and theism meaning belief in god or gods.

• Atheists don’t use god to explain the existence of the universe.
• Atheists say that human beings can devise suitable moral codes to live by without the aid of Gods or scriptures.

Reasons for non-belief
People are atheist for many reasons, among them:

• They find insufficient evidence to support any religion.
• They think that religion is nonsensical.
• They once had a religion and have lost faith in it.
• They live in a non-religious culture.
• Religion doesn’t interest them.
• Religion doesn’t seem relevant to their lives.
• Religions seem to have done a lot of harm in the world.
• The world is such a bad place that there can’t be a god.

It is possible to be both atheist and religious. Virtually all Buddhists manage it, as do adherents of other religions, such as Judaism and Christianity.
But many atheists are also secularist, and are hostile to any special treatment given to organised religion.

Atheists and morality
Atheists are as moral (or immoral) as religious people.
In practical terms atheists often follow the same moral code as religious people, but they arrive at the decision of what is good or bad without any help from the idea of god.

What does it mean to be human?
Atheists find their own answers to the question of what it means to be human.

What are your main reasons for being an atheist? Mine are:

• There is zero evidence of the supernatural in any shape or form. (except the Invisible Pink Unicorn, may you die an honorable death, trampled under her holy pink hooves!)
• Religion is harmful if swallowed. It survives and thrives on indoctrination/brainwashing, especially in early childhood when a person has no defense for its insanity.
• Religion has caused more death, murder, destruction, harm, repression, ignorance, destruction of knowledge, etc, than anything else.
• I live in a religious culture and I see the hypocrisy and harm it causes.
• The morality of the religious is twisted and usually extremely hypocritical. As an atheist I have my own moral code that doesn’t rely on 2,000 year old rules from desert goat herders who liked to stone people for wearing 2 different fibers at the same time.
• Life does not appear to be sacred to the religious, despite their constant braying about the issue. The religious seem desperate to control everyone’s life but their own. (More hypocrisy). The religious subjugate themselves in this life (at least they pretend on the surface, while breaking their rules in secret often) because they want eternal life that doesn’t involve roasting forever in hell (so it’s based on fear of suffering, not on being good for goodness sake).As an atheist, this the the only life I have. It is natural, amazing, awe-inspiring, and precious beyond measure. Every moment is to be treasured and lived fully.
• Religion is based on faith, which by definition, has no proof. Religion abhors such free thought. I embrace reason, critical thinking, logic, observation, experimentation, facts, science, intelligence, freethought and skepticism. Basically I believe in using your brain, and thinking for yourself.

That’s my short list. I’m sure I have other reasons for being an atheist but I can’t think of them offhand. So what are yours?

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“Why can’t atheists just keep their lack of faith to themselves? Why do they have to write books and have blogs and speak out all the time? They’re in the minority. No one cares about their crazy godlessness. Why can’t they just shut up and stop criticizing us? Why do they even call themselves atheists? Can’t they just say they don’t know if they have doubts? Why do they have to be so militant about our dear lord and savior?”

This kind of questioning sets my teeth on edge. It’s extremely ignorant, but worse than that, it screams of hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy: falseness; the practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess.

Yesterday a friend of mine told me that his friend asked him, “What’s wrong with just saying “I don’t know, and no one really knows” in regards to spiritual questions?” My friend had written a book review for God Is Not Great and his friend said that atheists can be just as zealous and hardcore as religious people.

First, yes, it’s true, there are extremists in every walk of life. People seem to have a tendency to get extreme about things. Not everyone, but there are definitely personality types that are not satisfied with moderation, whether it be eating, dieting, exercising, working, lifting weights, collecting weird things, religion, politics; you name it, someone is doing it to excess.

Second, just because someone holds a different view than yours, that does not make him an extremist, or militant, or zealous. Everything falls on a scale, or a continuum. For example, some people don’t exercise at all. They never leave the house, hardly move, just sit on the couch and move as little as possible. This is an extreme. Then there are people who are relatively inactive. And so on. As you go up the scale you get to professional athletes who basically work out for a living. Then you get to people who work out every minute of their waking day. They set an alarm so they can start exercising sooner. They don’t do it for money or a career, they are just extremely driven to exercise for whatever reason. They are extreme on the other end of the spectrum.

Neither extreme is healthy. Being somewhere in the middle is the way to go. You can say the same about religion and the lack of religion. On one extreme, you have fundamentalists who blow themselves up in bus stations or kill doctors in clinics for thinking differently than they do. Then there are tons of people in the middle.

On the other end you have … well, the thing is, I can’t really think of anything that extreme for atheists. Now, don’t get all bent out of shape. If you’re religious you’re screaming at your computer screen right now about Hitler and Stalin and Pol Pot. It seems to me that both Pol Pot and Stalin wanted to control the populace and keep them completely repressed. One way was to ban religion and persecute religious people. This is not about them being atheist and insisting that the state must therefore be godless as well. It was about absolute control of the people.

Hitler, on the other hand, was not an atheist. He praised christianity and was more than happy to do his best to wipe out Jews. Read Mein Kampf to see what he said about it all. But he was not an atheist. You would have to put Hitler in the nutbag-with-extreme-religious-issues then, because he despised the Jews and wanted to eradicate them. (NOTE: This is all my opinion of what I know of history. I know you pedantic religious and historical folks will happily and pompously correct me. I’m not giving you a history lesson here. I’m simply giving a brief overview of my perspective of three heinous men. If you want cold hard historical facts, Google to your heart’s content.)

Anyway, where was I? Right, extreme atheists. Most people think of Dawkins and his friends when you say militant atheist, which is downright silly. Here’s this mild mannered British guy who writes books and gives talks. He’s a scientist. Oooh, so scary and militant! He talks! That’s all he does! But christians are so deeply upset by his thinking that they have coined the term militant atheist.

Militant: vigorously active and aggressive, especially in support of a cause. Engaged in warfare; fighting.

So if someone writes a book, he’s a militant? Why? Because he disagrees with you? If you don’t like Dawkins, don’t pick up his books. You aren’t forced to read his work, or to believe the way he does. In fact, I disagree with him, and I’m an atheist. He holds some ideas that go against the way I think, so I don’t generally read his books, or listen to him talk or visit his website. See how easy that is?

Let’s go back to hypocrisy and talk about fairness and honesty. Dawkins and other atheist proponents use science and philosophy to put forth their ideas in clear arguments that are rational and thoughtful. Yes, they question the status quo. Yes, they don’t like religion. I don’t either.

On the other hand, my experience with christians is underhanded, unfair, fallacious, hypocritical, and manipulative; aggressive arguments that are based on trying to bend the person to their beliefs through fear and thoughtless obedience. They rely on logical fallacies, bullying, fear tactics and pure hypocrisy to fight as nasty as possible. It seems to me that they believe the means justify the ends, and if they save a soul for their god and win someone over, it doesn’t matter how unfair their tactics are.

So who’s militant then? The insidious and hypocritical liars that preach obedience to god then do whatever they like? The bullies that insist that evolution is wrong because it goes against the bible so they force public school boards to teach intelligent design and creationism? The same bullies that want every person to pray and follow the morals of the bible, which are hypocritical, flawed and tyrranical, if they would bother to read all the rules laid out?

Years ago, I was quite happy to keep my godlessness to myself. I would never talk to people about religion because I felt it was a personal belief system. There are christians and other religious people that go about their lives trying to be good people. They keep their beliefs to themselves. My aunt is like this. I’m pretty sure she knows I’m an atheist. She’s a methodist. They go to church every sunday and I know she is a good christian. We respect each other’s beliefs and keep it to ourselves. We get along just fine. She doesn’t try to proseletyze and I don’t talk to her about how silly and hurtful I feel religion is.

Of course, I’ve got this blog, but basically it’s for people who are already on the fence with the god issue, or are already atheists. If you’re religious and you don’t like what I have to say, close this window. This isn’t intended for you. I’m not trying to convert you.

Most atheists fall somewhere in the middle on that scale. Sure, we might argue a bit when pressed at a party, but overall most of us just want to be left alone. Ok, that was a huge generalization. I think most atheists under ideal conditions would not be so pesky and uppity about their godlessness.

But, when religious people demand that they are right, that their morals and beliefs are the only ones that are correct, and we must all follow their strict rules for how to live our lives, when public education is threatened with religious dogma and morals are being forced on people through laws pushed through with religious agendas, when churches don’t pay taxes on the money they bilk from their parishioners, but then try to get taxpayer money to proselytize or force people to follow their rules, that’s when atheists get fired up.

Religious people, whether they be christian fundamentalists or muslim extremists, seem to want to force everyone to believe their dogma and follow their musty old holy books which were written by angry middle eastern men in the iron and bronze ages. Their holy books are the be-all, end-all of their belief systems. They cherry pick what they like from those holy books and try to bully everyone into believing the lies and tell everyone how wrong they are. It’s all about faith and a bunch of other nonsense that dies in the light of reason, science, common sense and decency.

So, yeah, that’s why I speak out. That’s why I blog and try to help fellow atheists. That’s why I’m uppity and that’s why I criticize religion. Because it’s bullshit. It’s based on fear and control of people, not on anything good or noble.

But I’ll happily keep my atheism to myself if religious people will do the same. All of you. That will never happen though, because you want everyone to be as miserable under the jackboot of an angry, childish, tyrant in the sky as you are. SoI then, I’ll continue to speak out and help educate people. That doesn’t make me militant. It just means I’m thoughtful and that I think for myself and hope to help others that want to do the same.

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