Here is her comment:

“Attracting” and “manifesting” are merely seductive words meant to increase one’s complex sounding vocabulary of incredible denial. As well as having great sales potential. I have another term I would like to add to this “special sauce” that I coined myself after reading some of this stuff. I might just send it in to the researchers who publish the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV) to see if it can be added to the list.

“Superior Spirituality Complex Disorder”

It strikes those who’s capacity for believing in self serving bullshit is so high, that you can actually see it splattered all over the ceiling.
I have personally witnessed one’s very unattractive manifestation of “SSCD” while reading “The Secret.” In fact, I was inspired to name this disorder because
there was no other way I could describe the people I knew who felt they were owed something after reading it. Here are some common signs of SSCD.

1. Falling in love with her/him self post completion of “The Secret”and her/his subsequent newfound spirituality of “attracting” and “manifesting” to the point of ignoring/denying the needs, opinions and consideration of others. They believe they not only deserve special consideration from the universe, but the universe will hear them and acquiesce to their wishes. This is at the heart of those who have SSCD.
2. Beholders of SSCD tend to use the feelings their victims have for them to “attract” and “manifest” what it was they wanted for themselves. It is a common complaint amongst victims of partners with SSCD to have been exploited by said people. After they pillage the goods, victims tend to not be good enough for SSCD folks, and soon are on a “different life path.” When the victim expresses their hurt, they are told they are making a “choice” to feel this way. Very common wording of those possessing SSCD, whom by the way, are almost always Master Manipulators. (such as the woman who wrote this pile of harmful nonsense.)
3. SSCD subjects tend to be VERY stuck in their beliefs and shun those who don’t buy in. These beliefs include and are not limited to,
   1. the LoA (Law of Attraction)
   2. attracting bad things because of negative thinking
   3. karma
   4. their past lives
   5. astral projection
   6. astrology
   7. numerology
   8. whatever their “ enlightened teacher” professes
   9. other such money making bullshit fads and fairy tales

Acquaintances, friends, and lovers of SSCD folks, BEWARE!!!!
Studies have proven they became downright nasty and condescending if you’re not getting on board for what they attempted to feed you. Surefire way to tell if someone truly possesses SSCD:
If you trump them with sound science, reasoning, and common sense when questioning their beliefs, you will never find a quicker, more surefire way to lose these people as “friends.”

(Back to Neece here)
This is a terrible disorder. But I really wonder about the basic character of anyone who will so easily assimilate such utter bullshit into their lives at the expense of friends, family and loved ones. People use the LoA as a way to justify their sociopathic tendencies to manipulate the very universe into supposedly giving them what they think they deserve. It’s not healthy. It’s not ethical.

Thanks for coming up with this term, Elizabeth. I think it’s really important for those of us not infected with SSCD to be aware of the symptoms when a loved one or friend becomes under the influence of The Secret and/or the LoA.

Related posts

• The Secret Is Still Bullshit (4)
• The Secret Divides Part 2 (8)
• The Secret Divides (4)
• The Law Of Attraction- And The Secret -Are Bullshit (114)
• How Far I’ve Come! (7)

Without further ado, here you go. This is the kind of horrible stuff you can buy your poor little brainwashed kids. It’s great for parties too! Click the images for bigger sizes.

Choke down these cross mints. They come in their own little bible tin. But the top rated ones are the mints with bible verses. How special. And look, they’re fat free. We don’t want our little bible babes to be chubby!

Stones to throw at heathens and unbelievers! Some say words like “dream” and “faith” while others bear a torture symbol. Great for worried kids who are afraid of burning in hell for all eternity! Just rub that rock and you’ll be fine! Jesus Saves, after all!Page 1 is cross-happy.  Look at the awesome real nail necklace you can have for only 75 cents each! Or hour about a flashlight for when your parents lock you in the basement for not praying hard enough? It says Jesus is the light. How precious.

Page 2 gives faith filled value with a burlap sack to play with, emblazoned with christian frogs leaping for the lord. Touching. And if you sin too much you can cut holes in the sack and wear it until you’ve been blessed by your favorite pedo-priest on Sunday. Look at the happy kids. As you can see, their brains are freshly washed… washed in the blood of the lamb! How about a Jesus loves me kazoo? Make a joyful noise unto the lord, damnit! Or a whore-ish religious tattoo? And three types of mints because the lord hates bad breath. Or at least those pedo-priests do.

Page 3 is full of more cheap crap for brainwashed kids. Here you can make your own nail cross. Gotta love the symbol of a deadly torture device. Very nice for the kiddies. Most of the stuff on here is pretty lame, but not that cheap, for the discerning Sunday school teacher or godly mother.

Thanks, Jenny. My eyes are bleeding now. I think I need to go eat a nice garlic roasted baby now to cleanse my godless heathen soul.

Related posts

• What Other Deities Were Born On Jesus’ Birthday? (10)
• Belief, Unbelief and The Scientific Method (24)
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So these zookeepers over in Jerusalem are trying to sort of reconstruct the animals from the bible (old testament, of course) in Israel. They aren’t trying to repopulate the area with the biblical predators like bears, but they are trying to bring back vultures, even though Levitucus 11:13 called them detestable. Which makes me wonder why they’d want to nurture and breed them. And why cherry-pick certain animals but not the rest from the bible? But why try to get logical now?

Almost 100 animals were mentioned in the bible, according to the fluffy, credulous HuffPo article where I found this ridiculous story, so of course, I am quite skeptical. I guess that’s how Noah was able to get them all on the ark, then. He only had 100 or so to deal with, not the millions found in the world today.

There are nearly 100 different types of animals mentioned in the Bible, many of them key players in well-known stories: the lions in Daniel’s den; the dove that scouted for dry land from Noah’s ark; the ram that was sacrificed by Abraham to save the life of his son, Isaac.

Today, many of them are gone, hunted to the point of extinction or driven away by ongoing conflict. Of the 10 animals that are listed as acceptable dinner fare in Deuteronomy 14 — ox, sheep, goat, deer, gazelle, roe deer, wild goat, ibex, antelope and mountain sheep — only two (the gazelle and the ibex) could still be found in the historical boundaries of Israel in 1960. …

“… I want to keep the vultures because they were mentioned in the Bible that it was a common animal and that’s good enough for me.”

Shkedy, [a chief scientist for the Israel Nature and Parks Authority] has spent the past 15 years trying to repopulate Israel with biblical animals. He works with zoo keepers like Yedveb across the country, closely monitoring and coordinating their efforts to return animals like the Griffon vulture to the wild.

While Shkedy would love to bring back lions and hippopotamuses, he focuses on the animals that realistically stand a chance to thrive again, like Persion fallow deer and vultures. “Israel is now too dense to reintroduce predators, large predators,” said Shkedy. “We lost the bear for example, but who would be brave enough to bring back a bear?”

…In the Bible, vultures are only mentioned by name in a few places; some conservationists believe translators confused them with more frequently mentioned eagles. More recently, vultures have been victims of poisoning. “Farmers want to kill wolves and jackals that hunt their chickens and cattle, so they put out bait to poison them, and because vultures eat dead animals, they get poisoned too. Then they die.”

…For Shkedy, the fight to save Israel’s natural wonders is personal. When his parents emigrated from Europe in 1947, they wanted to fulfill the Zionist dreams of their ancestors by working the land with their own hands. The dream has shifted in subsequent generations, he said. …. “We should keep in mind that we didn’t come to this country just because we wanted to see a sea of houses. We came to this country … because of biblical things.”

Now, I’m all for conservation and preservation of wildlife and the environment. In fact, I often prefer the company of animals to that of most people.   But trying to recreate Zion in Jerusalem with biblical animals seems nutty.

Then again, following a 3,000 year old set of dusty books as the inerrant word of a god that doesn’t exist also qualifies as delusional and nutty, especially when, 2,500+ years later you’re still fighting and killing over a small piece of land that your supposed god gave to you.

So, trying to take care of some animals that once lived in an area is a good thing, but the quacky reasoning is not.

And if you read the article, maybe they need to stop poisoning the other animals which lead to the deaths of the vultures in the first place? Maybe it’s just me, but I would guess that would be really helpful. Raising baby vultures then sending them out into the wild just to be poisoned seems pointless. Fix the real problem first, don’t you think?

I thought I’d share this just to remind us that religious quackery is worldwide. I really wonder if humanity will ever give up its childish need for a sky daddy. Somehow I doubt it.

The other day I was talking to my fellow atheist friends about superstitions. We came to the conclusion that people seem to need their superstitions, and if you take one away from someone who feels their life is out of control, they’ll simply replace it with another one. Of course, that’s not scientific, but it would be interesting to see a study where that was done.

I think you can give up superstitions, even though it can be very tough. Look at all of us atheists and skeptics. Most of us were believers at some point. Most of us gave up gods, Santa and the Easter Bunny. Some of us have gone so far to give up superstitions as well. And have learned to be skeptical, critical thinkers. So it can be done.

But I think for the average person it’s not easy or natural or even wanted. They are happy to believe in the supernatural in a myriad of ways. And that’s just how it is.

Related posts

• Today’s Score: Atheists 2, Churches -100 (5)
• Religion is the Path of Least Resistance (2)
• How Far I’ve Come! (7)
• Don’t Assume I’m A Sensitive Soul (5)
• Conversations With christians – Beth 1 – First Question (24)

Notice how in the demo clips it’s always about some materialistic thing like a bike or a necklace? How shallow and self-serving! Why don’t all believers in this stupid lie wish for world peace or clean drinking water for everyone? Or everyone to be disease free? Instead they have to have a new Shiny. Pathetic!

Oh, and see the waves of rays coming out of the peoples’ heads? That doesn’t happen. That’s a special effect. So when you wish for something your thoughts don’t actually leave your head. Just in case you were wondering. Don’t believe me? Ask a neuroscientist. They have proof your thoughts don’t leave your head by magic (they only leave your head when you speak, write something down or perform an action based on those thoughts)

Oh OH! And when you ask for something, then believe it’s already yours, there’s no invisible man in the sky that says to you, “Your wish is my command.” You know that, right? The Universe doesn’t have a log of every time you wish for that new Ferrari. It doesn’t wait for the wish requests to reach 1,000 before it has it shipped to you. (Don’t move your house because it will get delivered to your old address! LOL!)

Other posts about The Secret:

• The Law Of Attraction – And The Secret – Are Bullshit
• The Secret Divides
• The Secret Divides Part 2

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• Belief, Unbelief and The Scientific Method (24)
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• What Is Atheism To You? Conversations With Craig the Christian 1 (36)

From January 1, 2010, the new Irish blasphemy law became operational, and those in Atheist Ireland began their campaign to have it repealed. Blasphemy is now a crime punishable by a €25,000 fine. The new law defines blasphemy as publishing or uttering matter that is grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby intentionally causing outrage among a substantial number of adherents of that religion, with some defences permitted.

This new law is both silly and dangerous. It is silly because medieval religious laws have no place in a modern secular republic, where the criminal law should protect people and not ideas. And it is dangerous because it incentives religious outrage, and because Islamic States led by Pakistan are already using the wording of this Irish law to promote new blasphemy laws at UN level.

We believe in the golden rule: that we have a right to be treated justly, and that we have a responsibility to treat other people justly. Blasphemy laws are unjust: they silence people in order to protect ideas. In a civilised society, people have a right to to express and to hear ideas about religion even if other people find those ideas to be outrageous.

Publication of 25 blasphemous quotes

In this context we now publish a list of 25 blasphemous quotes, which have previously been published by or uttered by or attributed to Jesus Christ, Muhammad, Mark Twain, Tom Lehrer, Randy Newman, James Kirkup, Monty Python, Rev Ian Paisley, Conor Cruise O’Brien, Frank Zappa, Salman Rushdie, Bjork, Amanda Donohoe, George Carlin, Paul Woodfull, Jerry Springer the Opera, Tim Minchin, Richard Dawkins, Pope Benedict XVI, Christopher Hitchens, PZ Myers, Ian O’Doherty, Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor and Dermot Ahern.

Despite these quotes being abusive and insulting in relation to matters held sacred by various religions, we unreservedly support the right of these people to have published or uttered them, and we unreservedly support the right of any Irish citizen to make comparable statements about matters held sacred by any religion without fear of being criminalised, and without having to prove to a court that a reasonable person would find any particular value in the statement.

Campaign begins to repeal the Irish blasphemy law

We ask Fianna Fail and the Green Party to repeal their anachronistic blasphemy law, as part of the revision of the Defamation Act that is included within the Act. We ask them to hold a referendum to remove the reference to blasphemy from the Irish Constitution.

We also ask all TDs and Senators to support a referendum to remove references to God from the Irish Constitution, including the clauses that prevent atheists from being appointed as President of Ireland or as a Judge without swearing a religious oath asking God to direct them in their work.

If you run a website, blog or other media publication, please feel free to republish this statement and the list of quotes yourself, in order to show your support for the campaign to repeal the Irish blasphemy law and to promote a rational, ethical, secular Ireland.

List of 25 Blasphemous Quotes Published by Atheist Ireland

1. Jesus Christ, when asked if he was the son of God, in Matthew 26:64: “Thou hast said: nevertheless I say unto you, Hereafter shall ye see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven.” According to the Christian Bible, the Jewish chief priests and elders and council deemed this statement by Jesus to be blasphemous, and they sentenced Jesus to death for saying it.

2. Jesus Christ, talking to Jews about their God, in John 8:44: “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him.” This is one of several chapters in the Christian Bible that can give a scriptural foundation to Christian anti-Semitism. The first part of John 8, the story of “whoever is without sin cast the first stone”, was not in the original version, but was added centuries later. The original John 8 is a debate between Jesus and some Jews. In brief, Jesus calls the Jews who disbelieve him sons of the Devil, the Jews try to stone him, and Jesus runs away and hides.

3. Muhammad, quoted in Hadith of Bukhari, Vol 1 Book 8 Hadith 427: “May Allah curse the Jews and Christians for they built the places of worship at the graves of their prophets.” This quote is attributed to Muhammad on his death-bed as a warning to Muslims not to copy this practice of the Jews and Christians. It is one of several passages in the Koran and in Hadith that can give a scriptural foundation to Islamic anti-Semitism, including the assertion in Sura 5:60 that Allah cursed Jews and turned some of them into apes and swine.

4. Mark Twain, describing the Christian Bible in Letters from the Earth, 1909: “Also it has another name – The Word of God. For the Christian thinks every word of it was dictated by God. It is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies… But you notice that when the Lord God of Heaven and Earth, adored Father of Man, goes to war, there is no limit. He is totally without mercy – he, who is called the Fountain of Mercy. He slays, slays, slays! All the men, all the beasts, all the boys, all the babies; also all the women and all the girls, except those that have not been deflowered. He makes no distinction between innocent and guilty… What the insane Father required was blood and misery; he was indifferent as to who furnished it.” Twain’s book was published posthumously in 1939. His daughter, Clara Clemens, at first objected to it being published, but later changed her mind in 1960 when she believed that public opinion had grown more tolerant of the expression of such ideas. That was half a century before Fianna Fail and the Green Party imposed a new blasphemy law on the people of Ireland.

5. Tom Lehrer, The Vatican Rag, 1963: “Get in line in that processional, step into that small confessional. There, the guy who’s got religion’ll tell you if your sin’s original. If it is, try playing it safer, drink the wine and chew the wafer. Two, four, six, eight, time to transubstantiate!”

6. Randy Newman, God’s Song, 1972: “And the Lord said: I burn down your cities – how blind you must be. I take from you your children, and you say how blessed are we. You all must be crazy to put your faith in me. That’s why I love mankind.”

7. James Kirkup, The Love That Dares to Speak its Name, 1976: “While they prepared the tomb I kept guard over him. His mother and the Magdalen had gone to fetch clean linen to shroud his nakedness. I was alone with him… I laid my lips around the tip of that great cock, the instrument of our salvation, our eternal joy. The shaft, still throbbed, anointed with death’s final ejaculation.” This extract is from a poem that led to the last successful blasphemy prosecution in Britain, when Denis Lemon was given a suspended prison sentence after he published it in the now-defunct magazine Gay News. In 2002, a public reading of the poem, on the steps of St. Martin-in-the-Fields church in Trafalgar Square, failed to lead to any prosecution. In 2008, the British Parliament abolished the common law offences of blasphemy and blasphemous libel.

8. Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath, in Monty Python’s Life of Brian, 1979: “Look, I had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.”

9. Rev Ian Paisley MEP to the Pope in the European Parliament, 1988: “I denounce you as the Antichrist.” Paisley’s website describes the Antichrist as being “a liar, the true son of the father of lies, the original liar from the beginning… he will imitate Christ, a diabolical imitation, Satan transformed into an angel of light, which will deceive the world.”

10. Conor Cruise O’Brien, 1989: “In the last century the Arab thinker Jamal al-Afghani wrote: ‘Every Muslim is sick and his only remedy is in the Koran.’ Unfortunately the sickness gets worse the more the remedy is taken.”

11. Frank Zappa, 1989: “If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have people love you, fine – but to hang all this desperate sociology on the idea of The Cloud-Guy who has The Big Book, who knows if you’ve been bad or good – and cares about any of it – to hang it all on that, folks, is the chimpanzee part of the brain working.”

12. Salman Rushdie, 1990: “The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas – uncertainty, progress, change – into crimes.” In 1989, Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran issued a fatwa ordering Muslims to kill Rushdie because of blasphemous passages in Rushdie’s novel The Satanic Verses.

13. Bjork, 1995: “I do not believe in religion, but if I had to choose one it would be Buddhism. It seems more livable, closer to men… I’ve been reading about reincarnation, and the Buddhists say we come back as animals and they refer to them as lesser beings. Well, animals aren’t lesser beings, they’re just like us. So I say fuck the Buddhists.”

14. Amanda Donohoe on her role in the Ken Russell movie Lair of the White Worm, 1995: “Spitting on Christ was a great deal of fun. I can’t embrace a male god who has persecuted female sexuality throughout the ages, and that persecution still goes on today all over the world.”

15. George Carlin, 1999: “Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!”

16. Paul Woodfull as Ding Dong Denny O’Reilly, The Ballad of Jaysus Christ, 2000: “He said me ma’s a virgin and sure no one disagreed, Cause they knew a lad who walks on water’s handy with his feet… Jaysus oh Jaysus, as cool as bleedin’ ice, With all the scrubbers in Israel he could not be enticed, Jaysus oh Jaysus, it’s funny you never rode, Cause it’s you I do be shoutin’ for each time I shoot me load.”

17. Jesus Christ, in Jerry Springer The Opera, 2003: “Actually, I’m a bit gay.” In 2005, the Christian Institute tried to bring a prosecution against the BBC for screening Jerry Springer the Opera, but the UK courts refused to issue a summons.

18. Tim Minchin, Ten-foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins, 2005: “So you’re gonna live in paradise, With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins, So you’re gonna sacrifice your life, For a shot at the greener grass, And when the Lord comes down with his shiny rod of judgment, He’s gonna kick my heathen ass.”

19. Richard Dawkins in The God Delusion, 2006: “The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.” In 2007 Turkish publisher Erol Karaaslan was charged with the crime of insulting believers for publishing a Turkish translation of The God Delusion. He was acquitted in 2008, but another charge was brought in 2009. Karaaslan told the court that “it is a right to criticise religions and beliefs as part of the freedom of thought and expression.”

20. Pope Benedict XVI quoting a 14th century Byzantine emperor, 2006: “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.” This statement has already led to both outrage and condemnation of the outrage. The Organisation of the Islamic Conference, the world’s largest Muslim body, said it was a “character assassination of the prophet Muhammad”. The Malaysian Prime Minister said that “the Pope must not take lightly the spread of outrage that has been created.” Pakistan’s foreign Ministry spokesperson said that “anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence”. The European Commission said that “reactions which are disproportionate and which are tantamount to rejecting freedom of speech are unacceptable.”

21. Christopher Hitchens in God is not Great, 2007: “There is some question as to whether Islam is a separate religion at all… Islam when examined is not much more than a rather obvious and ill-arranged set of plagiarisms, helping itself from earlier books and traditions as occasion appeared to require… It makes immense claims for itself, invokes prostrate submission or ‘surrender’ as a maxim to its adherents, and demands deference and respect from nonbelievers into the bargain. There is nothing-absolutely nothing-in its teachings that can even begin to justify such arrogance and presumption.”

22. PZ Myers, on the Roman Catholic communion host, 2008: “You would not believe how many people are writing to me, insisting that these horrible little crackers (they look like flattened bits of styrofoam) are literally pieces of their god, and that this omnipotent being who created the universe can actually be seriously harmed by some third-rate liberal intellectual at a third-rate university… However, inspired by an old woodcut of Jews stabbing the host, I thought of a simple, quick thing to do: I pierced it with a rusty nail (I hope Jesus’s tetanus shots are up to date). And then I simply threw it in the trash, followed by the classic, decorative items of trash cans everywhere, old coffeegrounds and a banana peel.”

23. Ian O’Doherty, 2009: “(If defamation of religion was illegal) it would be a crime for me to say that the notion of transubstantiation is so ridiculous that even a small child should be able to see the insanity and utter physical impossibility of a piece of bread and some wine somehow taking on corporeal form. It would be a crime for me to say that Islam is a backward desert superstition that has no place in modern, enlightened Europe and it would be a crime to point out that Jewish settlers in Israel who believe they have a God given right to take the land are, frankly, mad. All the above assertions will, no doubt, offend someone or other.”

24. Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, 2009: “Whether a person is atheist or any other, there is in fact in my view something not totally human if they leave out the transcendent… we call it God… I think that if you leave that out you are not fully human.” Because atheism is not a religion, the Irish blasphemy law does not protect atheists from abusive and insulting statements about their fundamental beliefs. While atheists are not seeking such protection, we include the statement here to point out that it is discriminatory that this law does not hold all citizens equal.

25. Dermot Ahern, Irish Minister for Justice, introducing his blasphemy law at an Oireachtas Justice Committee meeting, 2009, and referring to comments made about him personally: “They are blasphemous.” Deputy Pat Rabbitte replied: “Given the Minister’s self-image, it could very well be that we are blaspheming,” and Minister Ahern replied: “Deputy Rabbitte says that I am close to the baby Jesus, I am so pure.” So here we have an Irish Justice Minister joking about himself being blasphemed, at a parliamentary Justice Committee discussing his own blasphemy law, that could make his own jokes illegal.

Finally, as a bonus, Micheal Martin, Irish Minister for Foreign Affairs, opposing attempts by Islamic States to make defamation of religion a crime at UN level, 2009: “We believe that the concept of defamation of religion is not consistent with the promotion and protection of human rights. It can be used to justify arbitrary limitations on, or the denial of, freedom of expression. Indeed, Ireland considers that freedom of expression is a key and inherent element in the manifestation of freedom of thought and conscience and as such is complementary to freedom of religion or belief.” Just months after Minister Martin made this comment, his colleague Dermot Ahern introduced Ireland’s new blasphemy law.

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Question: Are pigs native to the Middle East, then? If no decent jew or muslim could eat them, why were they raised and by whom?

God seems quite fickle about what were were to eat:

• Adam and Eve are supposed to eat a vegan diet: Genesis 1:29: And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
• Noah and his sons can eat any living thing, but they have to drain the blood first: Genesis 9:2-4: And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered. Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things. But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

That didn’t last long because in Deuteronomy and Leviticus he gets into all the things that are forbidden. Here I’ll highlight the references to swine.

• Leviticus 11:7: And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.
• Deuteronomy 14:8: And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you: ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcase.

In Proverbs, we see more insults to the pig and loose women:

• Proverbs 11:22: As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.

In Isaiah, eating swineflesh or mice means god will have to kill you:

• Isaiah 66:16-17: For by fire and by his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many. God will “plead with all flesh” with fire and sword, “and the slain of the Lord shall be many.” They that sanctify themselves, and purify themselves in the gardens behind one tree in the midst, eating swine’s flesh, and the abomination, and the mouse, shall be consumed together, saith the LORD.

What does the new testament say about the pig?

Jesus obviously hated pigs. He killed a whole herd of them in the gospels:

• Matthew 8:32: And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters. (Same story Mark 5:7-17, Luke 8:26-37)

In all three accounts Jesus and his posse are asked to leave. Maybe because they were valuable pigs.

Why drive demons into a herd of swine? Isn’t that wasteful? Who’s herd was it? Why would anyone be raising pigs if Jews couldn’t eat them? Why not just zap the demons with laser eyes or something? Jesus was so unimaginative, if you ask me. (Don’t even get me started about his hatred of a fig tree)

Jesus also insults pigs (as well as dogs):

• Matthew 7:6: Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

But then, to confuse matters (we know how consistent and On Message the bible is), Some heavenly voice talks to Peter. It’s apparently the lord.

• Acts 10:10-16: And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance, And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending upon him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth: Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat. But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean. And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common.

So if god cleans it, then it’s not common and OK to eat? Oh, these weird visions. Even Peter didn’t know what the hell it meant.

Now in Romans, we have more conflicting messages:

• Romans 14:2: For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.

So if you are a believer you can eat anything, but you’re weak if you’re a vegetarian? But wait! There’s more!

• Romans 14:14-15: I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean. But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died.

Ok, now nothing is unclean (yay, bacon!) of itself, but if you think it’s icky, then it’s icky. Is that like The Secret or something? Your thoughts make things dirty? What is the second verse? Christ died for bacon? No? Well it doesn’t make much sense to me. (Then again I’m a lowly woman and I can’t teach or ask questions about the bible, so this is all circumspect anyway.)

One more:

• Romans 14:21: It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.

Srsly, WTF? That’s the same chapter! Am I the only one who finds it confusing?

Speaking of Timothy:

1 Timothy 4:1-4: Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving:

So some will leave the faith and become vegetarians. I guess that’s bad? But it clarifies the issue, that now every creature of god is good and not to be refused. Just be thankful about it. I guess they got tired of not eating pork and rabbits and other creatures. Probably because they were low on goats, having sacrificed so many to their god (who loves the smell of burning flesh.. NOM!)

Now, just to be fair, allah in the quran also hates pigs but only has to mention it twice:

• The Cow 2:173: He hath forbidden you only carrion, and blood, and swineflesh, and that which hath been immolated to (the name of) any other than Allah. But he who is driven by necessity, neither craving nor transgressing, it is no sin for him. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

So, as a side note, islam talks of other gods, then too. But like christianity and judaism, you have to only worship the one hateful god of your people, I guess.

• The Table Spread 5:3: Forbidden unto you (for food) are carrion and blood and swineflesh, and that which hath been dedicated unto any other than Allah, and the strangled, and the dead through beating, and the dead through falling from a height, and that which hath been killed by (the goring of) horns, and the devoured of wild beasts, saving that which ye make lawful (by the death-stroke), and that which hath been immolated unto idols. And (forbidden is it) that ye swear by the divining arrows. This is an abomination. This day are those who disbelieve in despair of (ever harming) your religion; so fear them not, fear Me! This day have I perfected your religion for you and completed My favour unto you, and have chosen for you as religion al-Islam. Whoso is forced by hunger, not by will, to sin: (for him) lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

Oh, and saying allah is merciful and forgiving in between mentioning all the doom he’s going to heap on you for any little thing doesn’t lessen the cognitive dissonance (aka, the CRAZY).

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Really, give yourself a 4 minute break and watch this. You will crack up in pure horror. Even the baby jesus is mortified. But DAMN, his ring and necklace combo is sexy! It makes me HOLY! HALLELUJAH! LOL!

Poe’s Law (fundamentalism): “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humour, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing,” named after Nathan Poe who formulated it on christianforums.com in 2005. Although it originally referred to creationism, the scope later widened to religious fundamentalism.

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