Heaving Dead Cats » funny http://www.heavingdeadcats.com Skeptical Freethought Atheist Musings to Dispel Ignorance and Enlighten the Mind Fri, 03 Sep 2010 02:38:18 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Lighten Up! http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/13/lighten-up/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/13/lighten-up/#comments Fri, 13 Aug 2010 13:34:56 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=3019 How about some funny or insightful cartoons and pictures for a light Friday the 13th treat?

God At His Computer

BRRRAAAAIIINNNSSS!!!

Grimace must be an atheist baby-eater!

Behold! The atheist’s nightmare!

I shall huggeth thee and squeezeth thee, and call thee George

So what are you in for?
Genocide. What about you?
Poly-cotton.

When did ignorance become a point of view?

Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth. Albert Einstein

Related posts

]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/13/lighten-up/feed/ 0 Good Stuff From Mr. Deity Again http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/03/good-stuff-from-mr-deity-again/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/03/good-stuff-from-mr-deity-again/#comments Tue, 03 Aug 2010 08:32:51 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=3005 Mr. Deity and the Psych Exam is pretty funny. Watch at least the first part of the begging section, it’s pretty funny too.

The Newsletter is funny too. I recommend it.

Related posts

]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/08/03/good-stuff-from-mr-deity-again/feed/ 0 Yay for Mr. Deity and Larry http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/20/yay-for-mr-deity-and-larry/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/20/yay-for-mr-deity-and-larry/#comments Tue, 20 Jul 2010 21:51:11 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2965 Mr. Deity and Larry

Very funny stuff! If you’re new to Mr. Deity, I recommend starting at the beginning at Season 1. Go to MrDeity.com and watch them all.

Also, there’s a Newsletter you can get now.

Related posts

]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/20/yay-for-mr-deity-and-larry/feed/ 0 Godblock Protects Your Kids From Religion On The Web http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/04/godblock-protects-your-kids-from-religion-on-the-web/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/04/godblock-protects-your-kids-from-religion-on-the-web/#comments Mon, 05 Jul 2010 02:04:19 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2912 This is funny! I have no idea if this site is legitimate or what will happen if you install their software, but this is a funny concept. Godblock filters out religious websites from your children.

Here is how the site describes the software:

GodBlock is a web filter that blocks religious content. It is targeted at parents and schools who wish to protect their kids from the often violent, sexual, and psychologically harmful material in many holy texts, and from being indoctrinated into any religion before they are of the age to make such decisions. When installed properly, GodBlock will test each page that your child visits before it is loaded, looking for passages from holy texts, names of religious figures, and other signs of religious propaganda. If none are found, then your child is allowed to browse freely.

And here is their reasoning:

In the last century, the United States has seen a resurgence of fundamentalist religion. Fundamentalist Evangelicals, Mormons, Baptists, and Jews have held back progress in science, human rights, civil rights, and protecting our environment. How can we reverse this trend and join the rest of the world in the gradual secularization of society and government?

Most deeply religious people are born into their religion, but even children raised in a secular household are vulnerable to content on the web. That’s why we’ve produced GodBlock. GodBlock is a web filter that blocks religious content. It is targeted at parents and schools who wish to protect their kids from the often violent, sexual, and psychologically harmful material in many holy texts, and from being indoctrinated into any religion before they are of the age to make such decisions.

Makes sense to me! Of course, using a filter as a “babysitter” for your kids, to protect them from content, doesn’t seem like the best way to handle difficult material like sex or religion. (Then again, I’m not a mother, so maybe it’s different if you have kids. I welcome your opinion).

I would think that you can’t really shelter kids from religion. Letting them see it as the cultural dogma that it is and then explaining it to your kids might work better. If your children are too young to explain stuff to, they probably shouldn’t be surfing the internet alone anyway.

But this is, at the very least, a very interesting proof of concept. I like it!

Like I said, though, I have no idea if this is legitimate and have no idea if the software is safe. If you use it, feel free to review it below.

Related posts

]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/04/godblock-protects-your-kids-from-religion-on-the-web/feed/ 14 How The New Testament Came About http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/01/how-the-new-testament-came-about/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/01/how-the-new-testament-came-about/#comments Thu, 01 Jul 2010 04:59:06 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2903 God: Hey Jews.
Jews: Hey.
God: So listen guys, I’m thinking we go in a different direction with this whole religion.
Jews: What?
God: You know, do a non-gritty reboot. Same God taste, new God packaging. That sort of thing.
Jews: We don’t follow.
God: Okay, work with me here guys. Remember the whole ‘angry God’ thing?
Jews: Vividly.
God: Where I killed a whole bunch of you and-
Jews: Yeah.
God: And forty years in the-
Jews: We remember that.
God: Not to mention Robo-Hitler. Yikes.
Jews: Wait, what?
God: Whoops, forget I said that. “Spoiler Alert”, am I right?
Jews: …
God: Anyway, we’re going to re-work this whole “God- thing. For example, kid-friendly is big these days in religion.
Jews: So, like…?God: For example, I’m super chill now, for some reason. Plus there’s a heaven. Oh, and this is Jesus. He’s my son, and he’s God too, or something. It’s complicated, ok?
Jesus: Yo.
Jews: I think we’ll stick with the old one here.
God: Look, I love the brand loyalty Jews, I really do. But this whole “God- thing isn’t playing to the right demographics. Jesus is a hip, young God, you know, for the whole  A.D.- generations.
Jesus: Surfs up, dudes!
God: Ha, that Jesus. What a character, right? This is going to play huge in Rome…
Jews: This…goes against everything you’ve ever told us.
God: No it doesn’t, so just shut up. Also, Jesus, you’re going to die.
Jesus: What? I thought I was your son! Or God. Or both!
God: Look, this is just complicated, okay Jesus? Besides, you totally return when you fight the Devil.
Jews: Who?
God: Right, he’s another new character. He’s like an evil God. Plot twist, right? We’re arch enemies.
Jesus: Why would you make your own arch-enemy? That’s really stupid.
God: Shut up, Jesus. And what would you know? You’re made of bread and wine.
Jesus: What? Why?
God: Sponsorships, alright? New testaments aren’t cheap.
Jews: I’m sorry, this is just way too different. Is this your fan-fiction or something?
God: Of course not. This is the logical progression of Judaism which I planned all along. Like when I made all those references to a lamb.
Jews: You made, like, five.
God: Well, they were all about Jesus. Foreshadowing. Um, I guess. So there.
Jews: Couldn’t you have been clearer then?
God: I work in mysterious ways, okay? Look, just go with it guys. I worked really hard on this. And come on, you totally owe me for the whole ‘creation’ thing anyway.
(pause)
Most Jews: Well, I guess we could.
God: Awesome! ‘Most Jews’, aka ‘New Christians’-
New Christians: We’re what now?
God: You won’t regret this guys, I have the whole thing planned perfectly
Holy Ghost: Oooooooooh!
God: …
New Christians: …
God: You’re going to love it.

~ Found Here.

Related posts

]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/07/01/how-the-new-testament-came-about/feed/ 0 Funny Tidbits To Make You Smile http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/06/03/funny-tidbits-to-make-you-smile/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/06/03/funny-tidbits-to-make-you-smile/#comments Thu, 03 Jun 2010 17:58:23 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2827 Just a few funny tidbits to entertain you. Plus the Pale Blue Dot for a bit of awesomeness. :)

“There have been numerous cases where practicing christians have been obliged to obey the same laws and abide by the same rules as everybody else.” (How Barbaric!) Jesus and Mo

God! It’s like everyone I’ve ever slept with is here.

Hitler was a drug-free vegetarian. Do your part to fight fascism: eat meat and do drugs. (name that logical fallacy!)

Having a great vocabulary didn’t save the Thesaurus from extinction/eradication/extirpation. :P

Man and religion, a synopsis: They said christianity was a religion of peace…

Carl Sagan and the Pale Blue Dot. Awesome!

Related posts

]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/06/03/funny-tidbits-to-make-you-smile/feed/ 5 Christian Crap For Children http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/05/18/christian-crap-for-children/ http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/05/18/christian-crap-for-children/#comments Tue, 18 May 2010 12:33:06 +0000 Neece http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/?p=2802 My friend Jenny is the best. The other day she sent me 3 pages of a catalog full of christian crap for kids. It’s amazingly horrible. Of course my first instinct was to share it with you. Jenny even went so far as to make notes on the pages. She’s not only a great friend, she’s funny too!

Without further ado, here you go. This is the kind of horrible stuff you can buy your poor little brainwashed kids. It’s great for parties too! Click the images for bigger sizes.

Choke down these cross mints. They come in their own little bible tin. But the top rated ones are the mints with bible verses. How special. And look, they’re fat free. We don’t want our little bible babes to be chubby!

Stones to throw at heathens and unbelievers! Some say words like “dream” and “faith” while others bear a torture symbol. Great for worried kids who are afraid of burning in hell for all eternity! Just rub that rock and you’ll be fine! Jesus Saves, after all!Page 1 is cross-happy.  Look at the awesome real nail necklace you can have for only 75 cents each! Or hour about a flashlight for when your parents lock you in the basement for not praying hard enough? It says Jesus is the light. How precious.

Page 2 gives faith filled value with a burlap sack to play with, emblazoned with christian frogs leaping for the lord. Touching. And if you sin too much you can cut holes in the sack and wear it until you’ve been blessed by your favorite pedo-priest on Sunday. Look at the happy kids. As you can see, their brains are freshly washed… washed in the blood of the lamb! How about a Jesus loves me kazoo? Make a joyful noise unto the lord, damnit! Or a whore-ish religious tattoo? And three types of mints because the lord hates bad breath. Or at least those pedo-priests do.

Page 3 is full of more cheap crap for brainwashed kids. Here you can make your own nail cross. Gotta love the symbol of a deadly torture device. Very nice for the kiddies. Most of the stuff on here is pretty lame, but not that cheap, for the discerning Sunday school teacher or godly mother.

Thanks, Jenny. My eyes are bleeding now. I think I need to go eat a nice garlic roasted baby now to cleanse my godless heathen soul.

Related posts

]]> http://www.heavingdeadcats.com/2010/05/18/christian-crap-for-children/feed/ 21