Heaving Dead Cats » lolcat

For Entertainment Purposes Only

Neece — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 02:20:11 +0000

Hi everyone! I probably should have warned you ahead of time, but I’ve been so busy I really haven’t had much of a chance. Labor Day weekend is “family time.” Butch (my longsuffering and adoring husband) had his brother and best friend in town for the annual Labor Day family reunion. So I cleaned and polished and got ready for his friend to stay with us for a few days, and then prepared for several days of family events including the reunion on Sunday. I ate WAY too much delicious Italian food and laughed an awful lot. It all wrapped up last night and now I’m trying to recover. It’s a lot for a curmudgeonly, grinch-hearted, soulless, socially phobic hermit to deal with every year.

So, I just wanted to say hi and give you some lolcats and funny pictures to amuse you till I can get back on track. I hope you had a great, long weekend as well.

Little did you know that the freezer is a closely guarded porthole to hell.

For a brief moment Basement Cat had the whole world in his hands. Then he dropped it.

Compare the Ideology: the simple way to an ideal ideology (click for larger image)

Well, the good news is that we found out Jesus is worshiped on other planets.
“Oh, he comes back every two weeks or so. We gave him this big box of chocolates when he first arrived. Why? What’d you guys do?”
“Uhh…”

God Bless This Country! (click on image for slightly bigger version)

“Intelligent Design” (the one by our founding fathers)

GOD: Because even though the idea of a magic man who can solve all of your problems for you is nice, once you’ve seen behind the curtain, you realize that you have to do stuff for yourself.

I use an intellectual prophylactic online.

A Happy Day For Lolcats

Neece — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:03:08 +0000

Hey everyone,

I really wanted to say hi today but it’s my birthday and I am busy baking myself a cake and getting ready to go to dinner. So you will have to make do with some of my favorite recent lolcats and one 2012 comic. Enjoy!

“I only had room to go up to 2012.” .. “Ha! That’ll freak somebody out someday.”

Ceiling Kitteh decides ur fate

I would have thought natural selection would have dealt with you by now…

Having misplaced both the chess set and the violin, when Basement Cat came for his soul, Felix’s only remaining option was to challenge him to a game of Monopoly.

After a long and tiring day of soul snatching, Basement Cat retires with his Snuggle Bunny.

Contemplative Kitteh contemplates balance of Universe.

“And what attributes do you feel you will bring to the table as an employee of Happy Burger?” .. “I possess extensive experience with fire and brimstone, sir.”

Well, this is going back to Amazon. I ordered a Ceiling Cat.

I miss the smell of sulfur and charred flesh, but this is a close second.

Basement Cat’s ‘Grow Your Own Chicken’ kit finally came in the mail.

Basement Kitteh eats your brainz!

Sick and Miserable, Needing To Share a LOL

Neece — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 06:23:43 +0000

So I am sick and miserable with a nasty holiday cold. I can’t sleep so I thought I’d share the latest Mr. Deity with you.

Happy Holidays Everyone! See below for funny holiday lolcats for even more cheer!

Mr. Deity and the Magic, Part Deux

Merry Freaking Catmas, Damnit.

This iz NOT mah happi face!

Festive litter box in 3… 2…. 1….

Makin a list. U on it pal.

catmas ninja

put urself in mortal peril….

catnuts roasting by an open fire…

deck the halls with barfed up holly

Guess what it is!

ur ornamintz ar histoery!

glowry to da burger king!

bah humburger!

Happy Halloween!

Neece — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 12:07:48 +0000

Happy Halloween everyone!

I wanted to share some great lolcats with you on my favorite holiday, while warning you of some issues that may have passed below your radar for this All Hallow’s Eve.

Don’t buy candy for today! Halloween is Lucifer’s holy day and the candy in the store has been cursed and filled with demons according to Charisma Magazine. Kimberly Daniels wantonly tells us about the horrors of this most satanic day of the year.

I know, it’s probably too late for you. You already bought your Halloween candy weeks ago. My suggestion is to eat all of the candy in one sitting while praising Lucifer as you unwrap each blasphemous piece of chocolaty evilness. If you can’t light a bonfire to dance around naked in your front yard, light a candle and roast marshmallows over it. That will suffice.

Don’t give the candy to those little kids that come begging at your door! It will fill their innocent little souls with demons! You really must eat the candy for yourself and imbibe the demons to help save our future from demonic possession. Daniels says it all in her diatribe. But I give you solutions. That’s just the kind of blasphemous, godless heathen that I am.

On another note, why not find a Judgement House to scare you onto the straight and narrow? Having trouble with your kids? This is the solution for you. Drag your kids to JH to experience a dramatic walk-through of the “truth” of people’s choices and their horrific consequences. It’s good stuff for terrifying kids with the “love” of god into their hearts.

Another version is Hell House which shows all kinds of sin and torments of the damned in hell. It might help with those uppity kids you can’t manage, and again, it will show the boundless “love” of god in all his heinous “glory”.

And last but not least, the catholic church in Africa is being destroyed by witchcraft! Experts in Kenya say witchcraft is real and is destroying the church. Scholars are upset that the church continues to dismiss the dark arts as mere superstition, thereby unwittingly helping the devil advance his reign! Oh noes!

Unfortunately, on a serious note, in the name of witchcraft, many innocent children, albinos and people are killed, mutilated and tortured in the name of witchcraft in Africa.

So have a happy unholy day today! Happy Halloween!

This is for my Hunny Bunny on our 13th wedding anniversary today. Luvz U!

Questions For You

Neece — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 09:56:33 +0000

Some days the creative juices flow easier than others. Sometimes I just can’t think of great ideas to share with you. I’m sorry, I am a bit tapped out lately. More great stuff will come, I’m sure. I’ll just have to pray about it, I guess. “Dear Mighty Invisible Pink Unicorn….”

I’m going to share some lolcats while I take the opportunity to ask you some questions.

1. Do you have any questions or thoughts you’d like to share with HDC? You can email us at HeavingDeadCats@gmail.com

2. Do you have a deconversion story you’d like to share with us? Send us an email with your story. We’d love to publish it for you. Reading how others have unshackled themselves from religion can be helpful to people who are struggling with such a decision.

3. Do you have suggestions for a topic? Or questions that you’d like answered? Send them along. We’ll happily help answer those questions and take up your suggestions if possible.

4. Do you have funny or provocative images or videos to share? Send pictures or links to videos to us and we’ll share them with the class.

Join in and participate with HDC. We’d love to hear from you. If you have any problems sending us an email, just comment somewhere and let us know. We’ll help straighten it out.

Love, Neece

Too Sick To Be Clever – Lolcat, save me!

Neece — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 11:57:03 +0000

I have a bad cold. I’ve been sick for a week and I don’t feel like I’m that much better. Now I’ve lost my voice (my husband doesn’t seem upset by that for some reason.. LOL). And to make matters worse, I am just really tired and can’t think of anything clever for you. Don’t worry. I’ll think of something soon. But just so you don’t feel forgotten or neglected, Lolcat is filling in for me.

“Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings.” I love this bus slogan. It’s brilliant. This is my favorite so far.

“That’s right sweetheart; dreams and goals are satan’s way of distracting you from making dinner.” My comments all involve swearing so I’ll just let it stand as is.

oh JESUS! This is just too freaking much, this cake. I had to show it to you.

Happiness is submission to GodZILLA! LOL!

This is my favorite Russell’s Teapot. Get the drano!

Ceiling Cat guides the hand of man to write LOLbible.

Satan Cat: He’s going to kill you and your family once he gets outta there. LOL!

Happy New Year, Heathens!

Neece — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 05:09:41 +0000

Here’s to an interesting year coming to a close, and the beginning of a fresh new year full of change and promise.

I hope you’re all having fun with your celebrations and being safe getting to and from any parties.

This change is really just an arbitrary moment in time. A time to take stock, and a time to celebrate.

Next year will be awesome. I know, that’s my optimism speaking, but we’ll make it the best year it can be.

Thank you for helping me be my best this year. Luvz U guyz!

Aww, damnit, I was aiming for posting at exactly midnight. But my awesome husband just called to wish me a Happy New Year. Damn, I love that guy. Ok, thank you again for being such great readers and commenters. Suggestions always welcome, as are guest posters.

Since I’m already late, how about one more lolcat? Let’s see if I can find a really good one. (actually the optimist pessimist is one of my favs at the moment )

HAPPY NEW YEAR! It’s 2009!

Heaving Dead Cats » lolcat

For Entertainment Purposes Only

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