Hallelujah!! I’ve found the Lord! Slavery is OK according to the bible and I get to have one of my very own! I think I might get a breeding pair so that I can grow more. Once you’ve gone slave master, one is never enough, you know. Plus, I can sell the extra for cash.

I just don’t know where to buy my first one. Walmart has knock-off slaves. They may be the least expensive, but they don’t last more than 6 months, so it’s not worth it. I think I’ll try Amazon, they’re great for most stuff. My friend got a slave from them and it was damaged in shipping. They replaced it right away, no questions asked. Plus they throw in an owner’s guide on care and feeding. Slaves can be tricky, so that might come in handy.

And you’re probably about to lynch me for this post, aren’t you? Hey don’t blame me. PZ Myers helped me find the light of the lord. I guess the shining light of reason really goes to Jean, who really is a visionary. She’s a born again christian, who happens to also be black, which in this circumstance only makes her logic so much more compelling. I know that sounds like an ad hominem attack, but no, in fact it is merely an observation. Jean has opened my eyes. Jean is a raging ignorant whackjob moron. Read more…